Bling Blah

I remember back in 1979 when James Bond: Moonraker first hit the movie theatres here. I was eleven years old and my dad, being the James Bond buff took us to see it at the drive in movies (yeah... anyone else is Australia remember those?) and while I don't remember much of the movie, other than I wanted to be a Bond girl, I do remember being totally horrified at the mouth on Jaws, played by Richard Kiel.

For months after I would have nightmares about that mouth. Nightmares where I would be alone in a dark room and all I would be able to see was a pair of silver teeth coming towards me and they'd try to bite me and I was suitably terrified.

In the Bond films, Jaws and his rather unique dentistry were used to instil terror and fear. The teeth were a statement that said "I'm bad. I'm mean. I bite the heads off children" but now, in the 21st century, that statement has changed.

Rappers such as Nelly, Snoop Dogg and Master P spent thousands of dollars for their gold teeth and at one stage the credo was "I'm rich. I'm famous. I rap" but now, what with the competition hotting up between suppliers of gold teeth making the cost of gold teeth as low as $20 per tooth, the message can now be spread amongst ANYONE and more often than not, the message is now "I'm young. I'm dumb. I have a lot of time on my hands", as the target consumer group seems to be kids from all over the US who scrape together their pocket money, babysitting cash and lawn-mowing savings only to rush out to shops to cultivate the bacteria and crud that inevitably comes with wearing mouth jewellery such as this.

It amazes me that people used to be self conscious about pissy little braces and now you can cover your whole mouth!

You can get two teeth, four teeth, six teeth, fangs, the whole set or just tops or bottoms.

You also have a wide array of choices as to how much of your teeth are showing. You can get either solids or open designs that show glimpses of what your teeth would look like if you weren't hiding them behind a ton of metal.

You can have words carved into the teeth or you can ice them with diamonds and you can check out some of the latest designs at Mr Bling and here's some more Mr Bling.

Pure class!

Here is what one girl wore to her prom.

Apparently she wore these teamed up with a burgundy ball gown.

Tasty!

Isn't she horrific stunning?

If I was her boyfriend I would have taken one look at those ball-tearers and run shrieking from her house.

Here's a tip: If giving oral sex is not for you, pop in a set of these babies and only the truly freaky will ask you to perform the service, because no self-respecting male or female would ever let something like this near their genitals.

I'd like to thank "Bling Masta Tix" for bringing this appalling practise to my attention. You truly outdid yourself this time.

Posted By: Lint | 11:25 AM | Lint

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