Miss Me?

For once, being in a different timezone works to my benefit because yes! It's the 12th and yes! The ditz is back!!

When a person is banned from blogging by Blog Thunderdome, the HOT expects the banned blogger to take that time to reflect on what they did wrong. They hope that the blogger takes notice of the wrongdoings that brought about the course of events leading up to said banning and they pray that the banned blogger sees the light and either a) improves the blog or b) stops blogging altogether.

While it sounds very noble and a cause worth taking up, it was also obvious that they had never met someone like me. I did not take the time to lament my unworthiness as a blogger nor did I sit in a corner and think about what I'd done wrong.

Allow me to demonstrate:

Just as this previous sentence flits across the keyboard, we unfortunately stumble across some content. Six out of eight posts in the last two weeks were about blogging, the blogverse, the birthdays of the blog's "owners," their Blog Advance services, whatever. Jesus tapdancing Christ, Deb. You knew how much we hate the act of blogging about blogging. We said so. To our recollection, our exact words were, "we hate blogging about blogging." It wouldn't be much clearer unless we tattooed it on your thigh so that you'd be reminded every time you engaged in an act of blog masturbation.

Now watch me do it again...

I've been soooooooo busy the last two months doing a ton of stuff for BlogAdvance yes you heard right folks, that's BlogAdvance and in case you were wondering, their official (and original) blog is at BlogPulp. They now have a great directory with those oh so important thumbnails so everyone can see what your blog would look like if they were a beetle and there are categories and everything. For real!

Also, if you want to be part of a working forum with real members that actually post, you can join Lint or BlogAdvance's Community Forum where I'm now Admin on both or you can go to the Blog Thunderdome forum (Chaos Wastes for the uninformed) where I'm a Moderator and I can safely say that all three forums are jumping and have new content everyday.

I've actually learned an awful lot just by sitting back and observing people in forums and I think I'm all the better for it. There are people that I used to think were real assholes, but now that I've got to know them a little better, okay... no. I still think they're assholes.

Next quote!!

When Deb can pry herself away from the blog mirror, she's capable of surprisingly lucid (Aug. 24, Infidelity) and even funny (Aug 29, wanted poster of Jessica Simpson for the murder of "These boots were made for walking").

I know I put myself into the Dome of my own free will, and Dave McAwesome knows better than anyone that I harbour absolutely no grudges or ill will for my banning, but lucid, funny or not, this woman will always blog about the things that are interesting in her own mind. I don't care about the minds of others, how they perceive my blog or what they want to see on here. In fact, if you see my blog in a surf rotation and you don't like what you see, close your fucking eyes and count to 30. If you're here of your own free will, shut up or piss off. My blog. My rules. My terms. Live with it.

Trisha posted a pic of her boob a few months back. We'd be liars if we said that doesn't earn all kinds of crazy-ass bonus points. Deb's tedious blogging about blogging (listen, we were happy to read about your stand-off with Blog Explosion--that was cool--but enough is enough) did her in.

Here's your tit shot:

Sorry I couldn't get a kid hanging off of them, but my youngest child is 6 and that kind of shit can fall flatter than a post about sheath cleaning and horses... but yeah that's me, yeah they're real and gee whillikers aren't they great?

In all honesty, I wasn't even aware that things like this were important when entering a blogging competition, but feel free to refer back to this picture should I ever enter into anything else and if you're after a personality profile for them: they're 37; fraternal twins; their sign is cancer and they like to jet ski, travel and play Scrabble.

Because I believe in being prepared and never let it be said that I am unfair, I also submit pictures for the leg freaks, scarf enthusiasts, shoulder buffs, freckle and/or blurry pic fans, eye lovers and there's even something for you finger people. If I've missed anyone out, please feel free to leave a comment with your request but for any perverts out there, please remember that I have a boyfriend, he's possessive, he's really big and he can swing a bat.

Now, onto other matters.

In the two months that this blog has lain fallow, a lot has gone on in the world. Defence lawyers for ousted world dictators have died, things have been found in space, certain presidents and prime ministers have done a number of stupid things, models have been caught throwing junk up their nose, actresses have been starving and hurricanes have wiped out houses and land and killed many. It's been frustrating that I haven't been able to comment on any of it and really, it would be a waste of time for me to add my two cents now as it's all old news.

There was, however, one thing that was really pissing me off and finally I get to talk about it before anyone else. Yes, an exclusive, if you may.

What the hell is up with Yahoo? Has anyone seen their little blurby ad thingos with the pictures?

Here's a little pic I made up to show you several examples all in the one viewing.

What the hell are they thinking?

Do any of those pictures actually make sense? How can a flower in someone's mouth remind you of an address book? How can a woman pegging out her washing remind anyone of a bowling team or an InstaList? The girl with the big breasts and the big ass ball in front of her face did not make me think of any harmful virus except for, maybe, Chlamydia and what's with the bunny? Is SpamGuard going to smite it?

This got me thinking.

Perhaps we don't need things to make sense anymore. Maybe we've all become so bored with the obvious being pointed out to us that it's now time to take the bull by the horns and place pictures next to words that have nothing in common so that we understand better what it is that's being sold to us.

So I made some cute little blurby things of my own to help promote car batteries.

Pretty nifty, huh.

Well, I've bored you all enough for now and as a first post, it's not too bad. There are gratuitous photos, mindless meanderings and all sorts of silly shit. There's whoring of sites and forums and links galore.

Really all that's missing are fireworks and maybe a parting shot at some other traffic exchange site.

Suffer.

EDIT:
PS: Thanks Snarffy for being my first

Posted By: Lint | 12:00 AM | Lint

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