Where's The Remote?

Forty seven people are dumped off on a remote island where they must forge a loving, significant relationship with a person of the same sex within 24 hours while setting forth a business proposal to the elders of villages on that island on how to better irrigate their pastures only to be whisked away via helicopter to France where they are required to bunjee jump and hover above the pyramid at The Louvre for 36 hours! First two nose bleeders are voted off the show.

Keep watching next week when the remaining 45 contestants are confronted with 17 mystery guests in a cornfield, Nowheresville Idaho where 27 contestants will be abducted by aliens and experimented on all for your entertainment.

I hate it. When was it suddenly okay to allow this shit into our homes?

I fail to see the allure in watching these contrived shows where people are enticed with unrealistic tasks with cash incentives all for our personal amusement.

What's wrong with us where it's okay to take 4 happy couples, put them on an island with a bunch of young party people in the hope that at least one couple will break up? Do we really have to see some drunk chick sobbing about cheating on her fiancee after she's initiated a 5 stud gang bang in her hut to feel better about ourselves?

What is it saying about us that we take pleasure in viewing the discomfort or the disappointment of others. Technically, they can't even be classed as reality shows. Producers have realised that we're all basically too mundane to captivate an audience for too long so they create situations and problems in order to keep the average Joe amused while still protecting their budgets.

Then there are shows that lack even less originality than the previously stated crap and those are the shows where other people do what we all do in our own homes. Is it really all that more amusing to watch someone else brush their teeth or pop their zits than it is to watch you do it yourself in the mirror? Is there something REALLY wrong with us where we are so obviously starved for nudity that a lot of these shows now offer late night spin off shows where nudity, fornication and fun ensues that we don't see during the day time?

I place the blame entirely on the Jim Carey movie The Truman Show. Up until then reality shows were virtually unheard of. I guess you could throw Candid Camera and Jeremy Beadle into the mix too.

Idiots of the world, put your remote controls down, get your fat ass out of the couch, stand up and demand better quality television.

Hey.... hows this for an idea.

We hold a world wide audition to find the most desperate person who is willing to risk their life to win a cash sum. In order to play the game, this person will be sent to the US and then deemed an enemy of the state and then released to the outside world. There, this person must evade "hunters" (or we can call them "gladiators") for a month-earning a small amount of money for each day, and a billion dollars should that person manage to survive the entire month. The 'runner' can travel anywhere in the world, if they can arrange anonymous transport. The hunters are aided by members of the public, who receive cash for providing information on the whereabouts of the runner. Additionally, every day the runner must videotape a message, which is then mailed back to the TV show and if the runner is caught he or she is then killed live on TV.

Oh hang on. Someone else thought of this back in 1982.

Ever read The Running Man by Richard Bachman? Don't watch the movie, it's shit but Richard Bachman is Stephen King in disguise and it's actually quite chilling how close we've actually come to following that exact storyline whereby a man enters a game show in order to win money to pay for medicine for his gravely ill daughter.

Scary, huh.

Posted By: Lint | 12:20 AM | EntertainmentRants

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