Blogging: The Dark Side II

Okay so as some of you may remember, I whined some months ago about blogging.

I'm sorry. I thought I was done too, but no, I have more.

First of all, lets start with the good news. I'll be wrecking it for the other clever bunnies that figured this out by blabbing, but you can actually click the timer when there is 3 seconds left on the countdown. Now you only have to view those boring blogs for 27 seconds!

If you didn't already know about it, in Blog Explosion there is now the fun filled Battle of the Blogs (psssst for all of you out there that can read without moving your lips, that 27 seconds was up 5 seconds ago). For the moment I'm not going to touch on the bitching and the pettiness that goes on in there, but I would like to let those of you out there that give a shit a new and improved whine about blogging.

And now for the bitching.

First of all, the people who have a ton of big ass graphic files on their blog, do you know the meaning and concept of the file format, .jpg? Be brave, be bold and daring and compress. There is nothing worse than voting for a blog and having to wait ages for the damn page to load up. Compress your shit, yeah? There are millions of colours in the .jpg file format so you won't miss out on anything other listening to me whine. That in itself is a bonus.

While we're on the subject of opening a blog (the 12" remix) those with audio files, give us the choice of opening them up. What might be so exciting to you that you have to throw it up as a sound byte isn't going to thrill me as well if I have to wait 40 years for the page to load up in the first place. I clicked NO AUDIO in my preferences for a reason. Get rid of it or learn more coding so that it doesn't just turn on the second someone steps into your blog.

Ooo ooo another pet peeve. It all ties in I swear. Graphics and colours. When designing your blog, take a good look at it (27 seconds is a good time frame) and ask yourself a few important questions.

Questions like "is this colour too bright?", "does it feel like my retina is trying to eject itself from my eyeball?", "do I want to take a hammer to my monitor" and "is my 27 seconds up yet?".

If all these questions are answered in a negative way, then purple font on a red background is not for you and I can already tell you that it's not for me. Remember the golden rule: less is more. Okay? Good.

Small text. How about everyone does everyone else a favour (that means me) and type in medium text. You don't know what I like and I resent the implication that you think you know, but just for the record I like to view my pages in small text. For the most part, a fair number of people have their blogs set to medium text and well done to all those people. To the assumers out there that display their text already in the small text, first of all it's not nice for the poor sighted people as you've already done them a disservice where their normally large texted pages are suddenly diminished in size and it's not nice for those of us who view stuff in small text. Stop it. Leave the fiddly bits like small and large text to the expert. That is everyone else apart from you.

Popups. I have a popup stopper, it beeps and lets me know when one of you is trying to shove advertising shit up on my monitor. Alas some of it slips through. I don't want it. I don't give a fuck about the latest screensavers and I don't want to change my smileys, my cursor or anything else on my computer. Can't you instead be a little more polite and make pretty buttons on your page and link it back to a file on your server or something? I mean jeez, it's so freaken intrusive; why don't you just walk into my house while I'm asleep and eat my food, drink my beer and fuck my dog while you're at it.

Okay. I think that's it for now. Whew....

I feel better.

Posted By: Lint | 01:46 AM | Blogs and ReviewsRants

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